Cut Bleed Heal Repeat
by UniqueWriter19
Summary: Stefan is having a terrible time in his life and chooses to take it out in himself. What will happen when Damon finds out his little brother is cutting? Defan. Brotherly fic. Warning: Involves self harm, cutting. Takes place around season 5. Now a One Shot Series.
1. I Promise

**A/N- I recently read a one shot where Damon was the victim and I really loved it so I decided to write this one shot where Stefan was the victim. Please tell me what you guys think. Thanks!**

 **Warning-Self harm involved**

* * *

Stefan Salvatore entered the house and gave a huge sigh. He was dreading every single thing he had done in his life, from the day he turned into a vampire until the day he lost Elena. And that's how he was feeling, lost. Stefan didn't know if he should scream, cry, or just simply sit still. Stefan lost Elena to his own brother and he told everyone he was fine, but why would he be fine? He felt terrible and there was an aching pain inside of him that wouldn't go away.

Stefan headed to the living room where he sat down on his chair after he poured some bourbon into his glass. He slowly drank the liquid and when the glass was away from his mouth, there was a light smirk on his face. _Such a Damon thing to do,_ he thought to himself and tried to place the glass on the table without looking, but failed when he heard glass shattering on the floor. Stefan put his hands on his head with a loud sigh in frustration. Damon's going to kill him when he finds out his brother broke another one of his glasses.

Stefan bent down and was going to start picking up the glass when he suddenly stopped. He was amazed at how the glass reflected from the light, making it very bright and drawing. Stefan felt so compelled to it that he picked up the piece with his bare hand and soonly felt it pierce his skin. To his surprise, he enjoyed the slight pain it gave him, it made him feel free. But to his disappointment the feeling soon went away as his palm quickly healed the cut it once had. Stefan squeezed the piece of glass in anger of his healing ability but then the same feeling he had once before came back as the blood dripped down his arm. Stefan absolutely loved how he felt, like if his humanity was off for a minute. Like before, his hand healed the cut quickly and it looked like nothing ever happened except for the blood that was still there. Stefan continued gripping pieces of glass in his hand enjoying every single moment his cuts open and the blood would slowly come out. This continued on for a while until he was about to pick up another glass but suddenly stopped.

"What am I doing?" Stefan thought as he looked down at himself. He quickly got up when he saw the big mess he made. His shirt and jeans covered in his own blood with the shattered glass still on the floor, unpicked up. Stefan was still processing what he had done when he saw the clock. 5:35 pm. Had he actually been sitting, _cutting_ , himself for over an hour? Then Stefan remembered something else. Damon. He could have walked in on Stefan at any time and would have killed Stefan for what he did. Stefan speeded up to his room, into the bathroom, and locked the door behind him in case Damon would suddenly appear. Stefan quickly took off his clothes and hid them so no one can see what he had done. Stefan decided to take a quick shower so he can get all the blood off him. He would just have to clean up the mess downstairs later.

When Stefan came out of the shower, he pulled on a shirt and put some jeans on. Stefan was trying to forget what he done downstairs and continued to stare at his reflection on the mirror he had in his room when something caught his eye. In the mirror he saw a sharp wooden stake that was behind him. Stefan turned around, away from the mirror and saw it clearer now instead of just a reflection. It was one of the wooden stakes they kept around the house in case a vampire tried to attack them. Like the glass, Stefan was drawn to the piece of wood but this time stopped himself. _I can't cut myself again, Damon could come in at any moment and see what I am doing,_ Stefan thought to himself. Then a little memory came back to Stefan to the time he was caught cutting himself back in 1863.

 ** _Mystic Falls 1863_**

 _"I hate everything." **Cut** "Why did everyone have to leave me?" **Cut**. Stefan Salvatore had a pocket knife in his hand and was cutting across his arm, from top to bottom. He repeated doing this to his left arm and when he didn't have enough room to continue cutting, he began on his right. Stefan was feeling a mixture of sadness and anger at himself. A few days ago he was planning to runaway with a girl he was deeply in loved with, Valerie, but she never showed up. Also his brother who was in the army hadn't responded back to any of Stefan's letters in a month and when he confronted his Father about this he said, "It may be possible Damon didn't survive the dangerous war. Soon enough we might receive the letter regarding his death." Giuseppe simply said. What his father said hurt Stefan and as the days passed by without anything, he started believing his father's words. Damon is dead and Stefan will never be able to see him._

 _When Stefan was done with both arms, he was actually angrier now. Angry at how he won't be able to cut himself until his arms healed, and the thought of waiting for a while made it worse._

 _Suddenly Stefan jumped when he heard a knock on his door. He quickly rolled down his shirt's sleeves down and saw that that the white shirt didn't help to hide the cuts, it actually made it worse so he hid them under his bed covers hoping it was just a servant that would soon leave._

 _"Come in." He quietly said, unable to find his voice. When the door opened Stefan's eyes widened at the person. It was his brother, Damon, who stood by the door with a light smile._

 _"D-Damon?" Stefan stuttered while hiding his arms behind his back and getting up from his bed, still shocked at what he was seeing._

 _"The one and only, little brother." Damon said with a smirk. Stefan quickly went over to Damon and hugged him as tightly as he could, completely forgetting about the cuts due to his happiness. Damon smiled and was hugging him back when something caught his eye on Stefan's bed. Stefan's bed covers had big stains of blood, giving Damon a confused look. He then looked down at Stefan's arm that was wrapped around him and saw his brother's shirt sleeve full of blood. Damon gasped and quickly let go of Stefan. The elder Salvatore stared at his brother who didn't understand what was wrong and then Damon looked down and stared at his bloody shirt in shock. Stefan was still confused and followed Damon's gaze when his heart skipped a beat. With his brother's sudden returning, Stefan had completely forgotten what he had done to himself that afternoon._

 _"Damon-I can explain." Stefan quickly said while trying to hide his arms behind his back. Damon now looked up at Stefan again with the same shock he had until he found his words._

 _"Come here." Damon said, almost in a whisper. Stefan gave a confused look, expecting him to sound angrier but then he understood what Damon wanted. Stefan slowly took a step back._

 _"Come here I said." Damon said louder and stricter. Stefan bit his lip and slowly shook his head and took another step back. Stefan was terrified at what Damon would do to him._

 _Damon, very angry now, went over to Stefan and furiously grabbed both of Stefan's arms. Stefan tried not to let out a shriek of pain at how tight Damon was gripping his arms. Damon pulled both of Stefan's sleeves up and revealed the fresh, bloody cuts._

 _"What were you doing, Stefan? You think it's okay to waste your flesh like that? While I've been at war with many people sacrificing their life to fight you've been here hurting yourself on purpose?!" Damon continued yelling in anger at his little brother. Although Damon was angry, he was actually scared at what he caught Stefan doing._

 _When Damon was done yelling at him, Stefan didn't know what to say. He_ didn't _know what he was thinking the first time he cut himself. He didn't think anyone would care after he thought Damon was dead._

 _It had been silent for a few seconds and the only thing that was happening was the Salvatore brothers staring at each other. Damon waiting for a response and Stefan still lost for words. Finally to break the silence, Stefan opened his mouth but soon realized was a bad decision when tears started to come out of his eyes instead and soon enough started sobbing. Damon quickly pulled Stefan in as his brother grabbed fistfuls of Damon's shirt and continued sobbing into his brother's shoulder. Damon on the other hand tried to calm him down by rubbing his back as he continued to let Stefan cry. Stefan felt like a little kid again, Damon scolding him and Stefan crying for getting into trouble with his brother tried to soothe him afterwards._

 _After a while Stefan finally found his voice after he had managed to stop crying._

 _"I thought you were dead." Stefan said into Damon's shoulder. Damon stopped rubbing his back, surprised at his brother's response. Stefan stepped away from Damon so now they were facing each other again._

 _"You stopped responding my letters. And I-I told Father and he said you might have died at war. So I believed him." Stefan said apologetically. He wiped his tears away with his sleeve but flinched in pain when his arm touched his face. Damon only stared at him, his turn to be lost of words._

 _"I have told you to not listen to one of father's lies." Damon started. "It was difficult out there and I never had the time to write. I'm sorry." He said and Stefan looked up at his brother while Damon wiped a tear from Stefan's cheek. The youngest Salvatore could see he really meant it by looking at his face._

 _"But that doesn't mean you should go cut yourself either just because you think I'm dead." He continued and Stefan swallowed afraid that the conversation wasn't over yet. "I need you to promise me that no matter what happens to me you won't go all sad and depressed, you just have to try to forget about me, okay?" He asked his little brother. Stefan didn't know if he could promise that, forgetting about his brother, but gave a nod anyways._

 _"And I need you to promise that you will never cut yourself again, got it?" Damon said while getting Stefan's arm and showing it to him._

 _"I promise." Stefan answered. And he was sure of that because as long as he had his brother he knew he was going to be fine._

 _Damon pulled Stefan in for another hug since their first one got ruined. Stefan stared ahead at the blank wall when he suddenly blurted out,_

 _"You will always be here to take care of me, right?" Stefan asked. Stefan couldn't imagine living in this world without his brother protecting him._

 _"I will always be here for you." Damon answered back and the two Salvatore's continued standing in the center of the room as they hugged._

"If you'll always be taking care of me, why aren't you with me now?" Stefan said to himself. He looked down and finally decided what to do. If Damon broke one of his promises Stefan is allowed to do the same. Stefan walked over to the stake, picked it up, and used it to cut across his arm. Stefan was satisfied with his decision and repeated it over and over. Cut. Bleed. Heal. Repeat. He was enjoying every part in what was he doing. The aching pain that was once inside him seems like it never existed. This went on for a long time and soon his clothes were filled with blood once again. At one point he had been cutting himself too much that his healing ability was slowing down and you could faintly see the cuts down both arms. When Stefan felt better he decided he should clean the mess up downstairs he had done earlier but put on a jacket first in case Damon would walk in. Stefan happily got out of his room and started walking downstairs when Stefan froze as he entered the living room. Stefan was staring right into the eyes of a very angry Damon Salvatore. _When had he come in?_ Stefan thought.

"What were you doing up there, brother?" Damon asked with a stern tone.

"Nothing." Stefan blurted out. He knew perfectly well that was the wrong answer. In a second Stefan was pinned down on the wall by Damon. If Stefan couldn't take down Damon when he had fed, imagine how it was when he lost all that blood.

"Nothing? Then why when I come home I found my glass shattered on the ground with your blood on the floor. Then now when I see you, your covered in blood too. You also seem to be very weak than usual so 'nothing' might be the wrong answer, Stefan." Damon said and when Stefan didn't answer, he tightened his grip making Stefan let out a little sound of pain.

"A vampire came and attacked me." Stefan quickly lied. Damon only stared at him and Stefan thought it had worked but Damon's face somehow turned angrier.

"I could always tell when you're lying little brother." Damon said and tightened his grip around his throat. Stefan bit his lip in pain and was pretty sure a few tears came out his eyes. Damon let go of him and Stefan gasped for air but then suddenly felt Damon take his jacket off. Stefan looked at his arms and saw the faint cut marks.

"You were cutting yourself. I thought you promised you would never cut again." Damon said furiously and stared right into Stefan's green eyes.

"I didn't think it mattered anymore after we died. It's not a big deal anyways, it's going to heal." Stefan told his older brother but it didn't seem to calm Damon at all.

"It doesn't matter if it's going to heal! Each time you cut means one step closer to your heart. And if you end up killing yourself you're going to make _me_ search until the end of this earth to find a way to get _you_ back. Just so I can snap your neck a couple of hundred times for how stupid you are." Damon yelled.

"Why am I the stupid one? You're the reason I cut myself in the first place!" Stefan answered back. This time he was the one who was angry. Damon stared at his brother, shocked at his response.

"You took Elena from me." Stefan continued and looked down when he felt hot tears starting to form under his eyes.

"When I kept on drowning and dying over and over the thing that kept me going was knowing you were looking for me. But you never did." Stefan choked out and looked back up to his brother again. Damon was speechless, knowing everything Stefan said was true. Damon emotionally hurt his little brother.

"So Damon, if your allowed to break your promise I'm allowed to break mine." Stefan said with tears rolling down his cheeks he couldn't keep back. Stefan quickly picked up a piece of glass from the floor and before Damon realized what he was doing, Stefan used the glass to cut across his arm leaving a huge cut that only half healed.

"Stefan stop!" Damon said but Stefan had already made a second cut. Stefan was crying as he continued cutting but Damon grabbed his wrist firmly before Stefan can start on his fourth cut.

"Drop it." Damon said sternly while staring right into Stefan's wet eyes. Stefan refused but quickly dropped it when he felt Damon's nails digging into his skin as he gripped his wrist tighter.

Damon hugged Stefan leaving his brother half surprised. Damon hadn't hugged Stefan in a long time.

"Just let it out brother. I rather let you cry than taking it on yourself." Damon softly said as Stefan continued sobbing into his older brother's shoulder.

"You promised that you would always be here for me." Stefan choked out after he managed to calm down.

"And did I break that promise? After all these years I'm still here with you, aren't I?" Damon responded and Stefan noticed it was true. After all the terrible things Stefan did to Damon his brother was still taking care of him.

"Look, I promise you it'll get better. I'm sorry I hurt you, Stef. But I swear if I catch you even making a little mark on your skin I _will_ snap your neck. Just don't take it on yourself because after a while you find out it actually makes it worse. Trust me I know." Damon said while he stroked Stefan's hair. Stefan paused for a moment wondering what he meant but decided to ask him about it another day. Now he was just glad how close he felt with Damon, like how they used to be.

"You will always be here to take take care of me, right?" Stefan quietly asked after a minute of silence, remembering his words he asked back in 1863. Damon smiled at his brother's question.

"I will _always_ be here for you."

* * *

 **Let me know what you guys think. I would like to continue this but don't know how but if you want me to continue also and have an idea then you can always tell me. Please review and/or favorite. I appreciate it very much. Thanks!**


	2. I Love Pain

Stefan Salvatore breathed in and then slowly out. He was at the Mystic Grill where he felt everyone's heart beating while the blood flowed through their veins. Stefan felt like drinking everyone's blood in the Grill as he closed his eyes, imagining the delicious taste of human blood.

"Stefan? Stefan!" He faintly heard someone call him and his eyes shot open.

"Huh, yeah?" He asked quickly. It was Elena who had called him. Stefan, Elena, and Damon were in the Mystic Grill discussing a plan to do-something, he hadn't been paying attention to the whole conversation.

"Are you okay? You seem out of it." Elena asked concerned. Stefan quickly glanced at Damon and saw his suspicious face. Stefan looked back down, trying to hide his suspicion.

"No, I'm fine. Just...thinking." Stefan responded and looked at Elena. She just nodded, believing him and got up from her seat.

"Well I need to go meet up with Caroline. We'll just have to come up with another plan later." Elena said before she left. Stefan was about to leave when Damon grabbed his arm.

"I know when your lying Stefan and something's wrong. I can sense it on you." Damon said while staring at him.

"I don't know what your talking about." Stefan said annoyed and tried to leave again but Damon gripped on his arm tighter.

"There you go again, lying. Now, are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I have to pry it out of you?" Damon said with a stern look. Stefan didn't say anything and Damon started to twist his hand around making Stefan groan in pain.

"It's the blood!" Stefan finally spit out when he heard his bones starting to snap.

"What?" Damon said and quickly let go of his brother. The youngest Salvatore was rubbing his arm when Damon pulled Stefan outside of the grill. He didn't want anyone to overhear them talk about vampires.

"What do you mean it's the blood? You have been controlling how much you drink, haven't you?" Damon asked confused in a low voice. Stefan bit his lip and stared at the floor.

"Haven't you?" Damon asked again but Stefan continued looking down. The eldest Salvatore sighed in frustration and pinned him to the wall.

"You better start talking Stefan or I'm going to be breaking more than just your hand." Damon threatened as he had his hand around his brother's throat. Stefan tried to take Damon's hand off him but his older brother was much stronger than him.

"I lost control! Damon-just-please-let go of me!" Stefan choked out as he was unable to breathe. Damon was hesitant but finally let him go, causing Stefan to drop to the floor. Stefan slowly got up as he coughed, trying to regain his breath.

"How did you lose control again? Weren't you doing fine?" Damon asked, mostly mad than confused. Stefan continued to look down. He had lost control the day he cut himself. After losing so much blood that day Stefan couldn't keep back from all that blood that he smelled from the basement. Damon didn't even know Stefan had drank all the bloodbags because he quickly replaced it as fast as he drank them.

"I still am doing fine. It only happened once, I'm fine now." Stefan responded and finally looked up at Damon. He was suprised at his brother's face. It wasn't mad like he would usually be, instead it was filled with disappointment. And Stefan hated that look.

"I'm not going to become a ripper again. I promise. I found a way to avoid it, Damon." Stefan tried to assure him and for the first time it was true.

"Really brother? And how exactly might that be?" Damon asked, not believing a single word. Stefan bit his lip with Damon's ice cold eyes staring right into his. Stefan was about to say another lie when Damon's phone rang.

"You better have a good answer when I get back home." Damon said before he quickly speeded away. Stefan left as fast as Damon did before he would rip anyone's head off.

* * *

"I can't. I won't. Damon will find out if I do it again." Stefan said with his arms on his knees and his hands on his head.

The younger Salvatore was having a slight mental breakdown and he couldn't take the voices inside his head. They were screaming things he didn't want to hear, lies and terrible things he regrets doing.

"I can't...I can't." Stefan continued repeating, clutching his head tighter and tighter in tears.

Stefan hadn't been lying when he told his brother he found a way to keep in control. It was the worse possible way but it did help him. Stefan regrets what he did every single day.

"I'm sorry Damon but I can't keep my promise anymore." Stefan finally said when he felt his veins starting to appear on his face. Stefan had to break a promise one way or another but he didn't know which. He either had to lose control again and start hurting people or he could choose to cut and hurt himself instead. Stefan knew what he had to do but didn't want to accept it.

After a few seconds Stefan gave a quick sigh and ran up the stairs into his room.

"I am not going to hurt anyone." He whispered and picked up the small blade from his desk. Then he did the thing he knew he will regret later but it didn't matter to him right now. Stefan got the blade and sliced his skin across his right arm. The young Salvatore gave a smile of satisfaction as he felt the familiar slight pain where the cut was now hidden in blood. Then he kept on cutting and cutting.

* * *

Damon had just gotten back and as soon as he stepped a foot in his house he felt something different. Damon felt a different vibe which startled him because it was his house.

"Stefan!" He called out to his brother. He was actually feeling a slight bit worried and when Stefan didn't answer it made it worse.

 _Did a vampire break into the house? What happened? Where's Stefan?_ Questions kept on running through Damon's head. As he continued into the living room, Damon started to smell something. _Blood._ As the smell started to get stronger he noticed his anxiety getting higher. But as he started up the stairs he noticed something else, it was vampire blood. _Stefan's blood_. Damon hadn't ran as fast as he did in a while. He barged into Stefan's room and saw something worse than he had expected.

Stefan was standing in the middle of his room with his arms filled with cut marks that looked recent. They weren't healing. All the blood was on his bed, clothes, on his body.

"What do you think your doing?" Damon finally said after snatching the blade from Stefan's hand. Even the blade turned into a red color. Stefan's eyes were black and his fangs were out.

"Stefan! Hey, snap out of it brother." Damon said in front of him. It was like if Stefan didn't even see Damon in the room. Stefan was trying to get away from his brother but Damon had a strong hold on him. After a minute, he finally calmed down and his face went back to normal.

"What do you think you were doing?" Damon asked again. Stefan wasn't paying attention and looked like he could barely keep his eyes open.

"Leave me-alone Damon. I'm-fine." Stefan managed to say before he was about to fall but Damon caught him in time. Damon put his brother's arm around his shoulder and helped take him to his bed.

"Do you remember what I said I'll do if I ever caught you cutting again?" Damon scolded him as he examined Stefan's arms. Some of his cuts were dried but others were still covered in blood. Stefan had to be cutting himself for a really long time if they weren't healing, probably for hours.

"Mm-hm. You'll snap my neck, but it doesn't matter. I won't officially die. I'll just feel a slight beautiful feeling of pain and then come back alive. I love pain. I could do it to myself no matter how many times I want and I'll be fine." Stefan said with a smirk and Damon finally looked up at him in shock. Damon was scared that his brother didn't care of pain anymore, he didn't care how much he was hurting himself, he didn't care how bad this was for him. Damon knew that his brother's emotions weren't off because they were on. Stefan does care about people, just not himself.

Stefan slowly closed his eyes, expecting yelling and more scolding coming from Damon but suprisingly heard nothing.

Instead, he suddenly felt a warm hand on his cheek and Stefan's eyes shot open. Damon wiped some blood off him with his thumb but stopped when Stefan flinched and backed away from him. But Damon's eye had caught something by his stomach when he moved. Damon quickly lifted his brother's bloody shirt and it revealed amounts of bloody cuts he had all over his body, from neck to stomach. Damon slightly gasped and backed up a few feet away.

Again, Stefan expected Damon's yelling and anger to start but he suprised him once more.

"Why?" He finally asked while staring into the forest green eyes that belong to his brother.

"What?" Stefan asked, staring at his brother in his confusion. He was expecting anything other than that question.

"Why? Why this time Stefan, huh?" Damon started but Stefan only stared as his brother approached him again and sat right next to him on his bed.

"Last time it was because you felt like no one cared about you but I showed you that I will always be here for you. But now? What was so bad that you had to do this to yourself." Damon asked as he looked up and down at his brother's appearance. He gently put a hand on his torso and Stefan flinched again in pain. Stefan finally decided to look down at himself and all he saw was blood. He looked like a beat up animal and Stefan actually felt guilty for a second when he remembered the real reason on why he did this in the first place.

"Because I don't want to hurt anymore people." Stefan quietly said as he felt hot tears trying to escape his eyes.

"If I drink human blood, I know I won't be able to control myself. I'll just become the ripper again and kill a lot of people. And I-I don't want to hurt anymore innocent people. Why do I get to live if all I'm going to do is kill? I shouldn't deserve to live." Stefan said, now crying as he was remembering all those people who's head he had ripped off over the years. Damon quickly pulled his little brother to his chest as Stefan continued to cry.

Damon tried soothing him and only stroked his hair since he was afraid if he'll touch him anywhere else he'll cause him more pain.

"No...Please...Go away...Just leave me alone..." Stefan started saying while pulling away from Damon and clutching his head. Damon knew what was happening to him. It was the voices in his head.

"Stef, hey, listen to me. They're not real okay? You need to fight through them." Damon said while touching Stefan's hand but he flinched away.

"Just make it stop. Please make them stop screaming, Damon." Stefan pleaded with tears to his brother. Damon felt a part of him shatter as his younger brother continued to plead for Damon to make the voices stop.

After a minute of thinking what to do, Damon quickly raced out of the room and came back a second later with a bloodbag full of human blood.

"Stefan, You lost to much blood and that's what's causing the voices. They won't stop unless you fight against the problem you're having." Damon quickly explained as he sat next to him on his bed. Stefan was only half paying attention and laid his head against Damon's chest in pain again. It helped him calm down that he knew his brother was still there.

"All you need to do is drink blood and you'll be okay. I promise." Damon said down to him while stroking his hair again. Stefan's eyes widened and quickly shook his head.

"No, Damon. I-I'll lose control-" Stefan started saying but then groaned in pain as he accidently touched one of his cuts.

"No I'll be here to help you, remember? I'm your brother Stefan and I won't let anything happen to you before something happens me." Damon quickly said to him but Stefan only shook his head, still in pain and the voices screaming louder.

Damon was getting slightly irritated at how scared his brother was to trust him. Damon stared at Stefan for a few seconds and it was hurting him to see his tears and sweat mix on his stained, bloody face and decided he couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry Stef, but I'm not making it an option."

Damon said and took advantage on Stefan laying on him. Before Stefan can react to what he said, Damon was forcing the bloodbag into his mouth and started choking as he tried to avoid the blood going down his throat.

"Just swallow it Stefan! I promise your going to be fine. You need to trust me." Damon said but Stefan wasn't paying attention. At last to Damon's satisfaction, Stefan couldn't keep it any longer and he accidently swallowed a drop of blood but that is all he needed. Soon his veins started to appear and his eyes changed color again. Stefan snatched the bloodbag from Damon's hand and finished it dry in a second. Damon was inspecting Stefan's arms and body as the cut marks slowly started disappearing before he realized Stefan was speeding to the door.

"Get out of my way Damon! I need more blood!" Stefan yelled to Damon. His brother had been quick enough and had ran to the door before Stefan could leave.

"I have told you about a million times today that it's annoying me. You need to control yourself, Stefan."

"And _I_ have told you a million times that I can't! Just get out of my way. I need blood and I can smell it from up here."

"That's the point, Stefan! Your supposed to smell it but then resist it. Now if your not even going to try to listen to me there is also a hard way to do this." Damon said but Stefan, as always, was ignoring him and tried attacking him but failed. Damon had quickly reacted and grabbed Stefan's arm, twisting it around his back. He let out a loud scream in pain as the cuts felt like they were being burned.

"Like always, you chose the hard way." Damon said, twisting it more.

"What are you going to do? Break my arm until I calm down? Pain doesn't affect me anymore remember? I love the feeling it gives me now." Stefan said with a smirk as his eyes turned darker than it already was. Damon's eyebrows furrowed at his words. _He's right. It doesn't matter to him anymore_. Damon deeply thought.

"What? Your noticing that I'm right?" Stefan asked with a smirk when Damon stopped twisting his arm.

"You might be correct Stefan but you are really getting on my last nerve with your attitude. But guess what? I just remembered that you owe me something." Damon said playfully and Stefan's smirk dropped.

"Your getting a time out." Was the last thing Stefan heard before he felt his neck ache and the world turned black.

* * *

Damon was sitting on a chair next to Stefan's bed, drinking bourbon. After he had snapped his neck, Damon had carried Stefan over to his bed and decided to wait for him to wake up.

"I'm sorry I killed you Stef but I couldn't take any more of your mixed emotions." Damon said with a smirk to his brother who was still passed out.

"But I can't blame you. I know how difficult it is, even after everything you've gone through, after how messed up your life got the second I left you alone in 1864. And I'll tell you I regret that everyday." Damon continued with a sad smile and tried wiping some of the blood off his little brother's face when Stefan suddenly gasped out awake.

"What happened?" Stefan asked alarmed while he rubbed his aching neck. Damon could tell his emotions were back to normal.

"The usual. You were being annoying, I snapped your neck, but now your back so we need to talk." Damon said and sat next to Stefan on his bed.

"I don't really feel like talking." Stefan quietly said but of course Damon ignored him.

"You said you weren't going to cut anymore." Damon said with a serious voice. Stefan swallowed and looked down, away from Damon.

"It distracted me." Stefan finally said. "It was helping me get rid of the craving for blood, Damon. I didn't really have an option." He answered.

"You always have an option Stefan! You could have tried fighting against it or came to me for help but instead you tried finding a way to cheat out of it. Now look at yourself. You flinch everytime I lay a hand on you and your scared more than ever, aren't you?." Damon angrily said and placed a hand on Stefan's palm. Like if it were a reflex, Stefan flinched away expecting feeling pain, proving Damon's point.

Stefan looked up and saw how disappointed and angry Damon looked.

"I'm fine. It doesn't matter anymore. It's over." Stefan said and looked back down. He just wanted to be alone and didn't feel like talking to anyone. _Especially_ Damon.

"Is it Stef? Or are you just going to wait until I leave and start cutting again. I warned you what was going to happen. I told you no matter how much you think this is helping you it's not. Each time you cut you get one step closer to your heart, remember? Right now you cut your arms and your whole front body. What's next, huh? Your back? Your legs? You need to stop. Your getting too addicted to it." Damon said worried. Damon didn't know what he had to do to make his brother listen to him but whatever it was he was going to try.

He continued to look at Stefan as his brother look down still avoiding him. In reality, Stefan was scared of what he was doing but at the same time enjoyed it. He didn't know what to respond to Damon, didn't know what he had to say, because he was confused in everything. Damon was sensing how his brother was feeling and suddenly Stefan felt his brother pull him to his chest. Stefan froze when he remembered this was something Damon would always do to him over the years when they were human. When Stefan didn't know how to express his emotions like when he was in trouble, when his mother died, he was injured, Damon would pull him into his chest, stroke his hair, and say,

"All you need to do is cry, Stef. No matter how many emotions you are having, remember that crying will always help you find yourself. No matter how lost your feeling" And that was exactly what Damon was saying down to him. Now it was Stefan's turn to continue down the memory. He started cryng into Damon's chest wetting his shirt and Damon soothed him until Stefan found his words. After a few minutes, Stefan did.

"I'm sorry" Stefan started saying as his brother was now wiping the tears away from Stefan's face.

"I'm-Sorry for breaking my promises. I'm sorry how I always have to create messes that you have to clean up after. I'm sorry-for all the things that I've done to dissapoint you. I'm sorry-Damon." Stefan said in between sobs. Damon gave a small smile as he put his head on top of Stefan's and continued to wipe away his tears with his thumb.

"You shouldn't feel sorry, Stef. I'm your older brother, aren't I? That's what I'm here for. To help you and to make sure your fine and safe. Because like I said, if anything happens to you because of me I will become much worse than you are right now. And that would be awfully selfish of you brother." Damon joked and for a second he catched Stefan crack a smile in between his crying. Damon was now rubbing his hand on Stefan's shoulder and noticed he wasn't flinching anymore. Damon also cracked a smile as he noticed his brother getting calmer and slowly drifting off after all the blood he lost. When he finally noticed that Stefan was asleep he whispered,

"No matter how much you get on my nerves, you are always going to be my baby brother and the person I care for the most." Damon slowly wiped away the last tear his little brother had on his face and smiled.

"No matter what."

* * *

 **A/N- I didn't really think this was one of my best chapters in my stories but maybe you think different so please let me know what you think. I forgot to say this but this is my second writing account where I will be posting different genres for the vampire diaries. In my other account I decided to make it pure Defan or Salvatore Brothers fanfiction which the account is called, RandomGirl19, so if you like Defan I will be posting mainly stories of them in that account. Anyways please tell me how you felt about this chapter and I always take feedback and suggestions. So if you have any ideas for a future chapter and want me to write it just PM me or put it in the reviews. In case you didn't know I decided to make this into a One Shot Series so please review, favorite, and now follow for future chapters. As always I appreciate you guys. Thank You!**


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